TREEPROBLEMS
by iamnemesis
Summary: thailia's a tree and this is the account of her life as a tree! rated T for tree! (lol)
1. lol im a tree

**hey guys and dolls, I dont know what this is but i hope I make you laugh**

**-iamnemesis**

Lol im a tree - by Thalia Grace

Day one-

I don't know what's happened... I'm a tree. But I got to say my foliage is pretty damn fine gurl! This is going to be a real tree-t ( bum dum crash) I think im pretty funny but you'll say I'm barking mad (bum dum crash) but have I got news for you... I'm a tree. DEAL WITH IT!

Day two-

my new condition has hit me right at my roots ( bum dum crash)! speaking of which standing up for too long really hurts. My back is as stiff as a tree trunk ( bum dum crash)... Oh wait it is a tree trunk! Annabeth came to talk me today, I wish people would just leaf me alone ( bum dum crash) and not tree-t me like this ( bum dum crash)... Ok enough with the tree puns! You know what I miss the most? MAPLE syrup ( bum dum crash).

Day three-

I am still a tree

Day four-

Guess what? I'm a tree

Day five-

still a tree

Day six-

I'M A BUSH! (no only joking I'm still a tree)

Day seven-

my roots hurt again!

Day eight-

there was this dog... well you get the idea

Day nine-

Grover ran into me (again) ... Idiot!

Day ten-

OH DEAR GOD SOMEONE HELP ME I'M LOSING MY LEAVES!

Day 11-

Why does dad tree-t me like this... it's not fir! ( bum dum crash)

Day 12-

HELP! I have squirrels in my hair!

Day 13-

If the Apollo cabin bring fire near me again I swear to Zeus!

Day 14-

Still a tree :(

Day 15-

He look a demigod! I wish he wood notice me! OH HOLY MOTHER OF ZEUS IS THAT A MINOTAUR!?

later..

THE STUPID COW STABBED ME WITH HIS HORN! it really hurt :(

Day 16-

*Swaying furiously*

Day 17-

Percy's leaving... again.

Day 18-

Grover really needs to watch were he's going!

Day 19-

Do you want to hear something funny? I am tree

Day 20-

You have no idea how hard it is to type with branches!

**I hope this was a tree-t for you to read! please review if you want me to carry on!**

**-iamnemesis**


	2. Woody

**Hey guys and dolls! thank you for all the comments and including tree puns in them! I might use them in this chapter!**

**-iamnemesis**

Chapter 2- Woody

Day 21-

Guess what?

I'm still a tree! I can see your shock from this massive plot-twist!

Day 22-

They see me swayin' they hatin'!

Day 23-

some stupid bird have made a nest in my leaves :( I hereby christen him Mr. Chirpy...

Day 24-

Mr. Chirpy is sooooo cute 3... UH! gods did I just call a bird cute! I'M NOT FROM THE APHRODITE CABIN! I FIND NOTHING CUTE... well except Mr. Chirpy

Day 25-

I feel a little guilty... I was whipping my leaves back and forth a little too hard and I scared Mr. Chirpy and he fell off!... :( RIP Mr. Chirpy! (you shall be missed) * sniff*... wait can trees sniff?

Day 26-

oh...my...gods! there is this really cute apple tree called woody ( who is now my tree boyfriend!) and he is the sweetest thing since MAPLE syrup ( bum dum crash!)

Day 28-

me and woody had an argument, I wish he didn't Tree-t me like this! (bum dum crash)

Day 29-

I got revenge on woody by putting a snake in his boot!

Day 30-

IM SINGLE! WHOOP WHOOP, WHOOP WHOOP!

Day 31-

Oh he's dating that fir tree now is he? ... oh well that's pine by me! (bum dum crash!)

Day 32-

I'm still a tree :(

Day 33-

knock knock?

who's there?

THE PERSON WHO IS STILL A TREE!

Day 34-

shock horror! I am still a tree

Day 35-

*swaying furiously*

Day 26-

*swaying furiously*

Day 27-

*swaying furiously*

Day 28-

*swaying furiously*

Day 29-

*swaying furiously*

Day 30-

you know what? I think the whomping Willow has really inspired me to sway furiously

**So guys what did you think of this chapter? please tell me in the comments!**

**-iamnemesis**


	3. Chapter Tree

**Hey guys and dolls, first of all I would like to say thank you for all the reviews encouraging me to make this chapter! and I would like to give a shout out to my 2 friends Beth Cook and Carmel McDermott for commenting on my stories (and stealing my name) or threatening me with a spoon to mention their name! ( what amazing friends I have!) So yeah there is an insight into my life... Well this is awkward... **

**-iamnemesis**

Day 41- Woody's going down! they 're yelling timber! they better move... they actually really need to move! OH GODS HE JUST SQUISHED A MORTAL!

Day 42-

DING DONG WOODY'S DEAD WOODY'S DEAD WOODY'S DEAD!

Day 43-

* swaying happily*

Day 44-

Hey look there luke... WAIT... why does he have a needle filled with deadly poison?

Later..

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Day 45-

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Day 46

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Day 47-

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Day 48-

this hurts more than stepping on lego...

Day 49-

People are going on quests to save me... I feel loved

Day 50-

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Day 51-

so sorry... I was just typing ow until I fell asleep with my finger still pressing w

Day 52-

I wish this pain wood go away ( bum dum crash) why does a tree suffer so much? It's not fir! ( bum dum crash)

Day 53-

* swaying in pain*

Day 54-

What is a tree surgeon? if he looks after trees and makes them better I want a yellow pages book so I can call him!

Day 55-

Hey guess what guys!

I'm still a tree ! (a tree in pain!)

Day 56-

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Day 57-

Hey look it's Clarisse! wait what is that in her hands? OOOH that fur coat is pretty damn fine gurl! it suits you!

Day 58-

The fur coat was a present for me! I'm touched truly...

Day 59-

I don't get it! ever since I got that fabulousss coat of mine I've been feeling better... a lot better in fact!

Day 60-

OK... I have got to say... THAT FLIPPIN COAT DOES WONDERS! you want to know why? I AM NOW A HUMAN AGAIN!

But now I have to say goodbye... :(

THE END

_Now thalia is a hunter of Artemis and she is happy as a human again... but I have to say... She misses being a tree so she would like to thank..._

_Woody for being her boyfriend for 4 days_

_All her readers_

_The mortals who cut down woody_

_This book is dedicated to Mr Chirpy... for always being there for her over the 3 days he lived...RIP Mr Chirpy ... you shall be missed :(_


End file.
